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** Trigger Warning ***
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are normal people who have come from invalidating environments, lived through unimaginable neglect, trauma, & abuse as a child or have unresolved fear, anger & stress from their childhood, & who are living their live-in hell…
Doctor Marsha Linehan describes BPD suffering…
’Borderline individuals are the psychological equivalent of third-degree-burn patients. They simply have, so to speak, no emotional skin. Even the slightest touch or movement can create immense suffering.
They are powerfully connected to the people close to them & terrified by the possibility of losing them. Yet attack those people so unexpectedly that they often ensure the very abandonment they fear….’
‘Borderline patients seem to have no internal governor; they are capable of great love, & profound rage almost simultaneously. When they want to hold, they claw instead.
The lives of borderline suicidal individuals are unbearable as they are currently being lived. In short hell….’
‘Things are either black or white, grey does not exist in their world….’
BPD is a personality disorder with patterns of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, & affects, & marked impulsivity. It impacts the way a person thinks & feels about themselves & others. This can include a distorted self-image, distorted thinking, & difficulty with managing their emotions & behaviours which can severely impact relationships & simple everyday tasks if not treated.
Living with BPDT, CPTSD, ADHD, & anxiety is not a simple walk in the park. It can truly feel like you are literally walking through a minefield, just waiting for a ticking time bomb to go off. BPDT, CPTSD, & ADHD have many overlapping traits, which at times can be extremely hard to manage.
At the age of 47, I got the validation I needed because I had been searching for answers my whole life, that I was on the right path moving towards a healthier mental, emotional & physical life. No one in my family has been formally diagnosed with any mental health conditions besides myself, that I know of.
It is only today for the first time in my life I can say I am no longer walking on eggshells;
I feel free.
While you cannot control your emotions, you can control your response & behaviour.
Having BPD or being a narcissist is no excuse for bad behaviour.
Given my dealings with people with BPD & narcissist traits throughout my life when I was formally diagnosed, I was petrified. I had never heard of BPD before & interested at the same time as it gave me answers to questions I have had my entire life, not only about me but also about people in my life.
BPD is the target of more than its fair share of stigma by mental health practitioners, the media, the internet, & the general public. Many resources on the internet focus on the negative aspects of BPD, not taking into account the co-morbid disorders that the person may also have, perpetuating the misjudgement around it often forgetting that behind the symptoms is a whole person.
BPD as a diagnosis is heavily misunderstood; the typical stereotype portrayed is one where a person with BPD has irrational behaviour, acts out, externalising their anger & negative emotions, & sudden outbursts of rage. It feels like the person just snaps. This stereotype represents approximately a third of people on the BPD spectrum.
Having ‘symptoms’ of BPD, such as emotional dysregulation/outbursts, & suicidal ideation, can be extremely painful & exhausting mentally, emotionally, & physically, which can, but it does not make up your entire identity.
BPD has nine traits; you need a minimum of five for a diagnosis. That means there are 256 different combinations of traits without even factoring in the range in severity, presentations, or co-morbidities of each symptom. BPD is a disorder, not a type of person.
Never judge or compare someone with BPD because we all present differently.
Just like you present differently without a mental illness.
Like you we are individuals, simply unique, & incomparable.
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