YOU DID NOT LOSE HER.....

You did not lose her; she was never yours to keep.

You said she changed; yes, she became stronger, more formidable than the beasts that made her. She was forced to evolve into the kind of woman that cannot be broken; she adapted better than you ever thought she could. You cannot chastise her for what she has become, for this was of your own making.

You taught her 'I love you' was nothing more than a device to employ, to use when you wanted to bring her to her knees. Yet she still foolishly believed every time those venomous, poisonous words were uttered from your lips. you taught her not to trust, not to depend on anyone, to never let her walls down, never let anyone in. You were so callous, so indifferent, so self-righteous in your need to control. You ruled via totalitarianism with an iron-clad fist. She had been subjugated and indoctrinated her entire life. Forced to believe your propaganda, your lies.

Your words cut deep and penetrated like that of a samurai's sword, with precision, right through her core. You left her so demoralised, exploited, disheartened she had no self-worth, no self-esteem, no self-respect. She hardly knew how to think for herself.

With bafflement and confusion, you demand why she no longer needs you, no longer misses you. You are so blind to your own deficiencies and imperfections that you have no comprehension of the destruction you inflicted. You lamented blood was thicker than water, but they were hollow, empty words. For she knew her blood had been defiled, tainted with her ambitions for a better life.

She decided if she could not count on you, she would not count you in. Her desire to live a life beyond your comprehension, to live, to breathe, to be free of your sanctimonious bullshit, double standards, being held accountable to a higher standard than you yourself never lived up to was stronger than her need of you in her life.

She no longer tolerates your cruelty, your lies, your judgment, the abuse, nor your manipulation. She was worn out from being warned of her little brain and its alleged fabricated, pathetic inconsequential delusion that was her life. She knew your deep mistrust of her had nothing to do with her but the demons that plagued you and you alone. She knows you are too cowardly to face your truth.

She finally understands you are not worthy; you never were, and deep down, you knew that too. She had once held you in such great esteem, loved you with all her heart. You are no longer elevated from lofty heights, nor exalted, or glorified from up high. You lost the knight in shining armour status many a year ago upon your own demise. Yet, she keeps hold of vague fading memories of happier times close to her heart for fear that would be the only thing she ever had. Hoping one day she might meet that version of you that she loved so dearly, but ​​now all hope is lost. You bitterly took her loyalty and love for granted, never making her a priority arrogantly; you believed you were beyond reproach; you were entitled to demean, defile and deprive her of any emotion.

With a heavy heart, she knows it is time to leave; you gave her no choice. She will not be back; for now, she sees you, the real you.